Internet Dating for werewolves (Flash fiction)

Internet dating for Werewolves

Little Pete walked into the room. This room always burned his eyes, he often found the use of light a bit excessive. Now, Pete here is a vampire, and not just any vampire. Little Pete is the biggest playa anyone ever knew. He would boast and boast about his success with girls. Today this house he was in is Shaun’s house. Shaun is a werewolf and unlike Pete he is not very good at anything. His relationships with women have always ended badly. Actually that would be the case if he had even started any relationships with women. Shaun welcomed his guest and dimmed the lights for Pete’s safety. Pete got straight to it “I am going to help you get a girl, and a nice one at that!” Shaun didn’t sound too enthusiastic; he replied feebly “do I have a choice?” Shaun’s deepest, darkest fear was that he would accidentally eat anyone he got close too. “No you certainly do not!” Little Pete announced “here’s a site I like to use, go on have a go, just talk about yourself”. Shaun, without choice “I guess”

Hi there, my names Shaun and I hate Halloween. It’s cold, it’s dark, and I’m, always forced to take my whiny little brother out trick or treating. Yeah, it’s pretty dead. People dressing up like a monster once a year. Hahahahaha. If only they knew I was a monster every day of the bloody year. Basically ladies I am a werewolf. Yes I do occasionally eat people if I get a bit peckish but to be honest with you I would much rather have a Twix or two. In the last few years I have become increasingly fond of Heinz Ketchup so if you do decide to let me come over for a little snack make sure you put a bottle of it on the table. Thanks. I am very specific in my taste for fine women; I do tend to be attracted to women with blue hair so if you have let’s say blonde hair, stop reading now. And please, I beg of you, if you have any mates who like big furry guys, give them my digits. They can contact me at 077812580237.

I like visiting the cinema from time to time, mainly to see a couple chick flicks. However my favourite past time is taking long walks along the beach. The hot sand between my toes, or our toes if you’re a lucky lady, and the strong breeze blowing my hair. I like to think I look a bit like James Bond when I walk out of the sea.

And I promise I won’t eat you. But if I do accidentally then it’s your fault for smelling like meat. And if you really want to moan you can sue me for any damage that is if you survive to tell the tale ahahahaha. So yeah that’s me. If you want to meet me, I would be honoured.

Shaun looked to Little Pete “Bad idea mate!” Little Pete replied bluntly “Don’t worry, he girls will come flocking!”